Dear Mambo Marci:

I've been dancing salsa for about a year now. I have a problem:  I feel really badly when guys that I used to dance with don't ask me to dance any more. Any advice?

{mosimage}2009-04-19

Dear Michelle,

I understand. Many people feel this way when they are pretty new at dancing salsa.

Dancing salsa is a lot like going to play tennis. When you go to "get your dance on" you want to "play" with someone who can hit the ball back into your court. If you are a beginning player, and you are unable to hit the ball back to the other player, the more advanced player may get frustrated and not enjoy the game.

You may want to think of partner dancing as a form of communication, like a conversation. When two people talk to eachother, sometimes they "hit it off" and the conversation flows nicely back and forth. Sometimes, people may try to have a conversation and it just doesn't flow. Have you ever had that happen? You ask them a question, they don't really answer... their attention is elsewhere. Or, you sit with this person and neither one has anything to talk about -- and then you get that uncomfortable silence.

So, back to your question. Here is my advice:  try not to take it personally! You may really like a person, and enjoy talking to them, but it could happen that when you dance with them, they don't follow the lead well, or their timing is off, or they feel too heavy-handed, or they just don't listen to the music... get the picture?

The answer is:  just dance with those that DO have a good communication with you, and ENJOY it! As you progress in your dancing abilities, so will your partners.

HAPPY DANCING!